Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

I used to worry about EVERYTHING. I can remember being in high school and in my last couple of years there, there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t worry about the possibility of something bad happening.  Every day was a battle to survive whatever it was I was dreading.

I realized back a few years ago, that I really didn’t trust God. He had never done anything to make me distrust Him but my inherent sense of independence did not give in so easily to the belief that God “had my back”, so to speak. I was so used to taking care of myself, that when I wanted something I figured out a way to get it. When a relationship in my life suddenly went horribly wrong and it felt like my world was falling apart I got in God’s face. I had done everything I possibly could and had nowhere else to turn. He showed me that I hadn’t trusted Him with anything my life and that all my worry was because I was only trusting in my own abilities and what I could do to fix the situation. Needless to say, that relationship ended because it wasn’t God’s best for me but it started me on a journey of knowing God’s heart for me and learning to trust Him as a Father. I would love to be able to say that I completely trust God now with every area of my life but it is still a constant giving over to Him. I can say though, that worry is almost completely gone from my life. I truly believe that God is on my side and that He has the best plan for my life. And when I don’t get what I think I want, I know it is because God has something better in mind. I trust you Lord. I lean on you. Even beyond what my eyes can see.